Never say ow

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
– Og Mandino

Glad to have come across this quote today.
When I am at the last stretch or have only few days to go before the main event – an exam , a performance, a deadline , a self set goal, a hobby , I start feeling drained and hopeless.
Anything that seems to be going fine but not showing the same in figures or on paper does that to me.
I have trained my mind to not take results seriously and I shrug them off to the extent of not even checking them sometimes.
That is at the cost of losing sight on my drawbacks and not acknowledging where I need improvement .
If only I could just go on pursuing something without the need for  result , without a pattern of devised learning curriculum and “important things you must read in order to clear this exam”.

My way of non-linear and chaotic learning is seldom beneficial when it comes to exams which follow a pattern.
I Start a topic, find something interesting in between  the lines , then check it out on Google and from there on I travel to some other zone ,far away from the main topic.
I do come back and read that topic again but the time that I lost wandering starts making me uneasy.
The fast speed internet is my best friend in my mental wanderings.
I tried the pomodora technique as suggested in the coursera course I took—

learning how to learn

Here’s the link –

https://www.class-central.com/report/coursera-learning-how-to-learn/

So I benefitted a lot from it.
For first 3 days at least, when I was highly enthusiastic about trying something new.

And I realized even though I never knew it had a name , I had done this earlier for a longer duration ,to clear my medical entrance examinations.
It wasn’t completely alien to me.
And yet the anxiety within me to check the phone or check something that sprang up in my mind was overwhelming now which was unlikely at 18 years of age.

So now I am back to square one and even though my attention span has increased and I am lot less distracted , the results have to reflect the same .
And with my non linear way I have reached the point B from point A even if I did not take the straight road.

I have experienced failure before and success too but it is so unpredictable that it is futile to assess your worth on the basis of one exam or a singular event /failure in life.
Nevertheless, self assessment and insight on what you did wrong is very important in order to not do the same thing again.
note to self – Never commit the same mistake twice .
At the end of it, as one of good friends told me

You only have one person you should be competing with.And that is you.

Well here’s to being better prepared ,by tomorrow !
🙂

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